Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
