tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
COCAINE IS GR8
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He did a backflip because drugs
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
