I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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