census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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