First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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