I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
FUCK WHALES
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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