it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
