genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
