He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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