I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
this will be a night to untag.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
