hotel room ftw
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
