Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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