its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
