actually, I'm a sock model
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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