Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just googled if crying burns calories
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
