chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
