Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
