We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
