If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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