Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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