Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize