Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
my poor anus
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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