i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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