if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My legs feel like baby dolphins
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize