White coat. Heels.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize