in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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