This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize