You really coming over, don't trick.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
