Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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