I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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