After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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