I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
