You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize