You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
