Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I think my moral compass just broke
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
