so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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