You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
