I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
