can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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