You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
