why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
