I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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