Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
