I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
try to milk me bitch
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
