i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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