Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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