So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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