One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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