Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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