I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
