Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
