we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
