That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
