I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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