I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
