Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
