I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
3 2 1 whiskey
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
