I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
