think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
