This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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