I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
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