If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
