420 ftw
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
